Glenn Beck: Actor or Paranoid Psychotic?

Cover of Glenn Beck’s shitty book, the title of which suggests that he thinks there also exists a “Fake America,” fueling speculation that he’s certifiable.

Barack Obama hasn’t been president for six months and already the Republican shit factory is pumping out high-grade, persecution-complex BS at full capacity. One of the most efficient workers in this impressive operation is Glenn Beck of Faux News. Each time he goes on air, Beck somehow manages to outdo himself in the paranoid delusions department. Although I assume Beck is a jackass in real life just as he is on television, I cannot—I repeat, cannot—imagine that Beck actually believes half the shit he says on the air. Why? Because if Beck went around in his everyday off-air life saying what he says on the airwaves, he certainly would’ve been committed by now. I am not exaggerating and this isn’t a joke. I mean it 100%. If Glenn Beck really and truly is the man he plays on television, then my friends, he is man suffering from serious psychosis with secondary paranoid delusions.

Behold,

Beck’s ready willingness to shed crocodile tears over 9/11 was genuinely vile, to use the favorite word of Beck cohort Bill O’Reilly. I would also use O’Reilly’s term “smear merchant” to describe Beck, but for some reason whenever I hear this phrase I always picture some guy selling used underwear. In any event, Beck is doing great in the ratings as you might expect. You see, since about two seconds after Obama was sworn in, the electorally repudiated conservatives started to revert to their tried-and-true Clinton-era strategy of telling everyone “We’re fucked!” now that the Democrats have retaken the White House. This position rests in stark contrast to their strategy when they’re in power, which is “Fuck you.”

-Max