U.S. Senate Candidate Scott Brown Says, "Do Not Let Them Eat Cake."

Little do his supporters know, Scott Brown gives the thumbs up to the nanny state.

A few days ago I was listening to an autopsy of the New England Patriots season on 98.5 FM the SportsHub while driving through Boston. At one point, former Patriots backup quarterback Scott Zolak—who for some reason co-hosts his own show on the station—declared that he was going to tell a heartwarming anecdote about Massachusetts Senate candidate Scott Brown (R). Ignoring the pleas of his co-host not to go into politics on a sports show, Zolak told his tale anyway. It went something like this:

Apparently awhile back, Zolak’s little daughter was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes, which sucks. She also happened to attend a public elementary school, and on special occasions such as kids’ birthdays, the children would celebrate by bringing cake and other sugary goodies to consume. Naturally, Zolak’s daughter would get kind of bummed out because she couldn’t eat what the other kids were eating, which also sucks, but it’s nothing that can’t be overcome, right? Wrong. Scott Zolak was going to be damned if he let other kids participate in something that his daughter couldn’t. So he did what any another overbearing father would do to show his love for his daughter: by trying to deny other kids a pleasure that his daughter could not enjoy. Zolak asked the school to prohibit cake and other sweets from being served on special occasions. The school administrators politely told Zolak that he was being ridiculous.

End of the story? Hardly. Because Zolak proceeded to call his friend, Republican and so-called conservative State Senator Scott Brown, who subsequently pressured school officials. The result? No more cake for anybody. If Daughter Zolak couldn’t have something, then no one could. It was, as a hack political pundit might say, a “teachable moment.” In this instance, instead of a father teaching his daughter that sometimes life isn’t fair, that we are a nation that emphasizes individualism, and that she needs to take things in stride, he taught her the most anti-conservative, anti-libertarian, pro-totalitarian lesson of all: if you don’t like what someone else is doing, you can always try to stop them, even if it’s causing you no real harm, and even if it means getting government and politicians involved.

A frivolous story? Perhaps. But I think it tells us a lot about Scott Brown, who in this case was willing to oblige Zolak’s neurotic request. Scott Brown says he wants to get government off our backs…but not if it inconveniences his friends. In those cases, not only does he want government on our backs, he wants government on our kids’ backs as well—especially if he’s the person from the government doing it. If this is the kind of influence a retired second-string NFL quarterback can have on Scott Brown, what do you think is going to happen when health insurance companies and giant investment banks start lining his pockets with campaign money?

When will the Martha Coakley (D) campaign grab onto to this scandal? Hopefully soon. The results could be devastating.

Coakley campaign ad voiceover:

“Scott Brown takes away candy from children.”

How is that strategy not a winner?

Tune in tomorrow when I’ll explain to my fellow Massachusetts citizens why it is absolutely imperative to keep Scott Brown out of the United States Senate on Tuesday, January 19th.

- Max