7.05.2010

Newsflash: Millions Of Americans Stupid, Southerners Dumber Than Most

On Monday the Boston Globe published the ugly results of a survey asking Americans from which country the United States gained independence:

Twenty-six percent of those surveyed did not know that the United States achieved its independence from Great Britain, according to the poll, conducted by the nonprofit Marist Institute for Public Opinion.

Six percent named a different country, including France, China, Japan, Mexico, and Spain. Twenty percent said they weren’t sure.

The pollsters broke down the numbers and found gaps in knowledge according to region: 32 percent of Southerners weren’t sure or named the wrong country; 26 percent of Midwesterners were in the same category, as were 25 percent of Westerners and 16 percent of Northeasterners.

Well imagine that, the South has the highest percentage of ignoramuses in the country. Nearly a third can’t answer what is arguably the most basic American history question. You know, I don’t knock Southerners because I think we here in the Northeast are better; I knock Southerners because they think they’ve cornered the market on everything from morality to individualism. You hear it in their rhetoric: they’re the “real America,” not like us East Coast Elitists who exist only to undermine their traditional American values and kowtow to terrorists.

I was going to write a longer post on this, but then I remembered that everything I wanted to say has already been said—quite beautifully might I add—on fuckthesouth.com

P.S. I have decided that from this point on, I will refer to the American Civil War as Lincoln’s Folly.

- Max

3 comments:

  1. Anonymous11/18/2010

    You're fucking disgusting...I'm from the south and I can tell you that you're completely inaccurate about everything you just said. First how many people did you poll? Second where did you find these people? Where they varied age groups? Were they from different southern states, or just one? If you're going to make such a huge accusation, at least have the balls to back it up.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dear Hayseed,

    Thank you for proving my point. If you actually read the article, it states,

    "On Monday the Boston Globe published the ugly results of a survey asking Americans from which country the United States gained independence..."

    followed by quotes from the Boston Globe piece about the survey. Furthermore, the phrase "Boston Globe" is underlined and is in red font. This indicates the existence of a hyperlink, which allows you to click on the text and be taken to the original source. If you had done this, you would see that the survey was conducted by the Marist Institute for Public Opinion.

    But I understand. You're from the South, and can't be bothered to do any readin' or larnin' on your own. The fact that you thought I had personally conducted the survey shows how dumb you really are.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous2/07/2011

    Yep. I live in North Carolina, and many of the people around me are fat, dumb, and happy. Not necessarily in that order, but the adiposity of the crowd sure tends to catch the eye first.

    ReplyDelete

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