One Step Closer To Excommunication!

The Catholic Church is about to give me one of these...for life. Sweet.

So I’ve finally written that follow-up letter to the archdiocese that’s supposed to make my excommunication from the Catholic Church official. It’s short and sweet. I encourage all disillusioned Catholics to join me by also requesting excommunication. As I’ve said before, feel free to use my letters as templates for your own. I can’t wait for the actual letter stating that I’ve been expelled to show up in the mail. This is going to be awesome.

Dear Mr. Peterson:

Thank you for your prompt response to my letter dated August 17, 2009 requesting excommunication from the Catholic Church.

The purpose of this letter is to satisfy the requirements for excommunication in accordance with Canon Law 751. As such, let me state unequivocally that I repudiate the Catholic faith, and I refuse to submit myself to the diktats of the “Supreme Pontiff.” Herr Ratzinger is but a man chosen by other men. I owe no allegiance to him or any other “representative” of “god.” His recent remarks against the use of prophylactics to combat the AIDS epidemic in Africa is one of the most wicked things I have ever heard uttered by a person of supposedly good repute. That many on the continent take Ratzinger’s warnings to heart makes his position even more immoral. Reasonable people can disagree about abortion, but the Vatican’s stance on AIDS and contraceptives is downright unconscionable, and I have no doubt that many have contracted that awful disease because they heeded his horrid advice. For shame on that man and everyone who shares his backwards views on the subject.

Not only do I repudiate the Catholic faith, I heartily welcome the latae sententiae excommunication that will come with this apostasy. While this action is merely symbolic as far as I am concerned, I very much want to deny the Church the ability to claim me as a member of the faithful.

Sincerely,

Max Canning