Meep! When School Officials Go Fascist

School officials in Danvers have started a fire, and apparently don’t know how to put it out.

Here in the northeast, administrators at Danvers High School in Danvers, Massachusetts have been making headlines for their decision to ban the totally nonsensical, “meep” from use in the school. That’s right: meep. A “word” made popular by Beaker, the hapless assistant of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew on The Muppet Show.



Indeed, that’s how it is said.

Here’s the article from the Boston Herald:

Danvers High School is banning students from uttering the word “meep,” a trademark of Beaker from “The Muppet Show.”

The Salem News reported Principal Thomas Murray banned the word after school officials got wind of a student plan brewing on Facebook to stage a major disruption on school grounds using the “meep.”

WBZ-TV reported Murray informed students in an e-mail and phone message that police are monitoring the situation.

A call to police and a message and e-mail sent to Murray were not immediately returned.

The Urban Dictionary defines meep as another way to say “ouch,” or “uh-oh.” It can also be a substitute for a swear word.

At this point I have three questions:

1. Since when is “meep” a substitute for a swear word?

2. Since when do newspapers cite Urban Dictionary as a source?

3. Police are monitoring the situation? Are you fucking kidding me?

I don’t think the school administrators could’ve handled this any worse than they did. It just isn’t possible. First of all, let’s just say outright that disrupting class is not ok, and students who do it should be subject to punitive action. However, by banning a particular (non-obscene) word from being spoken in the school, administrators have all but challenged kids either to say “meep,” or some other word in its place. This would’ve have been a total non-issue if this Principal Murray character had simply stated something like the following in the phone messages and emails he sent out to students:

It has come to our attention that some students may be planning to disrupt classes and school functions in such a way as to hinder the ability of teachers to teach, and of their students to learn. This message is a reminder to all students that disruptions of any kind will not be tolerated and could result in suspension. Please know that teachers have been instructed to be extra vigilant in routing out delinquent behavior.

That’s what normal, socially aware school officials would say in a message like that. But not the people in Danvers. No. They completely took the bait, and told the students specifically that “meep” will not be tolerated, in what amounts to an I-double-dog-dare-you kind of challenge to the kids’ mettle and perseverance. Furthermore, what did these administrators think would happen in this age of Facebook, blogs, and a media with an unquenchable thirst for the quirky? They almost had to know that once they began banning certain (non-obscene) words from being uttered, the ante would get upped.

And that’s exactly what’s happened. Compounding the problem is the fact that the “police are monitoring the situation.” I can picture it now:

Student: Meep!

Cop: Take him down!

Student: Ahhhh, don’t tase me, bro!

Happily, the Danvers School Department has been receiving emails that simply say, “meep” from total strangers who want to show solidarity with students and piss off authority figures. Indeed, most people do not have fond memories of their high school principals and vice principals. Few people actually start out wanting to have these positions for their careers, and therefore they inevitably become filled with people who must basically settle for these tedious occupations. Consequently, some of them are extremely bitter people who view individuality as something to be surmounted, not cultivated. After all, they’re nothing special, so why should these kids be? But I digress.

One of the people who sent a “meep” email to Danvers school officials is copyright lawyer Theodora Michaels. She describes her correspondence:

My subject line said (in full), “meep.” The body said (in full), “Meep.”

Yesterday I received a reply email from Assistant Principal Mark Strout, which said (in full) “Your E-mail has been forwarded to the Danvers Police Department.”

The police department! Oh that’s rich. For what purpose? To waste their fucking time? I know Danvers is a suburban community, but surely even the police there have better things to do the follow up on “meep” leads. I imagine the police chief there is a little pissed off that school administrators can’t get their shit together and have put him on meep patrol.

In case anyone would like to show solidarity with the students, or just take a jab at these reactionary administrators, here are the relevant email addresses taken directly from the Danvers Public Schools website. What a bunch of dunderheads.

Principal Thomas Murray

murray@danvers.org

Asst. Principal Mark Strout

strout@danvers.org

Asst. Principal Cornelia Varoudakis
cvaroudakis@danvers.org

Take us home, Beaker!

- Max