Fung Wah Bus Lines: Ride At Your Own Risk

Apparently “Fung Wah” is Chinese for “Shit Happens”

I like reading Slate because I can always count on it to entertain me with some crazy-ass article about grass-eating Japanese men or a Christopher Hitchens column doing cartwheels in response to the death of Jerry Falwell. But this morning when I opened up slate.com I found myself drawn to an article on the best discount bus lines in the country. Why I felt compelled to read it I don’t know; I haven’t been on a private bus line in seven years and I don’t plan on being on one any time soon. However, the article turned out to be one of the most unintentionally funny pieces I’ve read in awhile for the plain fact that it maintains that the Fung Wah bus company is one of the best discount lines. Here’s the reviewer’s final assessment on Fung Wah: “For my money, all $15 of it, that’s worth the risk.”

What “risk” is she talking about, you ask? Well, New Englanders and New Yorkers are quite familiar with the comically calamitous ineptitude of Fung Wah, which provides service back and forth between New York and Boston, as well as Providence. Since about 2005, Fung Wah has made headlines with startling frequency owing to a series of literally unbelievable mishaps; and yet, here’s this reviewer from Slate claiming that the cheapo ticket prices are “worth the risk,” as in worth the risk of injury or death. Think I’m exaggerating? Let’s review Fung Wah’s record, not just as a public service for those searching for a discount bus line, but for the sake of a good laugh too. And believe me, collectively these incidents make for goddamn top-notch hilarity.

August 16, 2005: A New York-bound bus catches fire on Interstate 91 near Meriden, Connecticut. The passengers criticize the driver for being totally worthless during the evacuation of the bus.

Fung Wah afire

September 2005: In a prophetic safety assessment of Fung Wah bus drivers, federal regulators give them a collective score of 73 out of 100—100 being the worst score possible. The national average is 24 out of 100. Still, Massachusetts state regulators insist the bus line is safe.

September 6, 2006: A Fung Wah bus rolls over in Auburn, Massachusetts (site of the isolation tank story) and causes minor injuries to 34 passengers. Excessive speed is cited as a factor and the company is fined.

January 3, 2007: In Framingham, Massachusetts, a New York-bound bus loses its two rear wheels. No injuries are reported.

February 14, 2007: The driver of a New York-bound bus loses control in a winter storm and hits a guardrail on the Massachusetts Turnpike (I-90 in Allston). No injuries are reported.

Yet another Fung Wah fuck-up

March 23, 2007: A New York-bound bus becomes stuck on a concrete barrier in front of a tollbooth on the Massachusetts Turnpike at Route 128 in Weston, when the bus drives up on a cement lane divider. The driver had entered an automobile-only lane and tried to change lanes. No one is injured in the incident, but the bus is taken out of service and passengers board another Fung Wah bus that arrives later. Lucky them.

Rare photo of a Fung Wah bus that isn't on fire or crashed into something

It’s worth mentioning that on June 23, 2008 a Fung Wah bus boarding passengers was inexplicably nailed by a dump truck in New York’s Chinatown, forcing the bus into a bank and causing a traffic light to fall on a woman who later died. While the dump truck’s company was found at fault, one has to wonder whether Fung Wah has some seriously negative Feng Shui.

Now, I’m not saying that Fung Wah ought to be put out of business because I really don’t care. Indeed, if I’m feeling adventurous the next time I have to go to New York, I might just look under my couch cushions for enough change to buy myself a ticket and enjoy the ride. But for a reviewer of a major online magazine to say that Fung Wah is “worth the risk” as if she’s talking about buying stock in the company instead of actually using its services, is insane.

Fung Wah’s first and only foray into air travel also ended in disaster

I should also mention that in January when three friends and I were driving down to D.C. for Obama’s inauguration in blizzard conditions on the Mass Pike, a Fung Wah bus blew by us in the left lane as if it were 70 degrees out with clear skies. It was clearly driving way too fast for those conditions, especially for a cumbersome bus. “I think we can expect to see that bus again,” I told my travel companions, “Off the road.” I was wrong. We didn’t see it again, so naturally I assumed that the bus had crashed, but in a ditch so big we couldn’t see it.

So that’s the deal with Fung Wah. The next time you’re looking for a bus to take you to Boston or New York, remember what you’ve read here. And if you should ever find yourself standing on the side of a highway in Connecticut waiting for crews to clear your bus off the road so you can board another one of Fung Wah’s death traps, don’t say you weren’t warned.

-Max