Readers Take Exception To Sports-Related Canada-Bashing, Need Lives And A Lesson On Sarcasm.

“Waaa. Waaa. You insulted Canada.” - Some politically correct non-Canadian.

Last night, I posted a bit of raillery on this site under the title, “Fuck Canada.” (I have since changed the title to “Fucking Eh!” because I think it’s more apt.) The post was in response to the US-Canada men’s gold medal hockey game, which the US lost in a heartbreaker 3-2. Both sides played impassioned hockey and it was a great game to watch.

Unfortunately, several people—all non-Canadians—did not appreciate my post, which merely consisted of the following paragraph, and a Family Guy clip in which Peter Griffin says, “Canada sucks.”

Well, those filthy Canadians escaped with a squeaker over the U.S. today in the gold medal hockey game. That means the head-to-head is 1-1, but given the fucked up nature of the Olympic tournament, the Canadians win outright, despite being outscored 7-6 in a two game split. Take it away, Peter...

And then something happened. By the time I woke up this morning, several people had commented on the Facebook page. Here’s a sampling:

Nice, you just lost your credibility.

And,

oh Dude....your opening sentence is so ugly...you just freaing [sic] lost me......That's just not right!! Canada, those kids, those Athletes......are amazing......stay in politics where it is slimy...don't mess with the kids who worked so hard and deserve our absolute appreciation...........all countires [sic].....

And,

And your typical American hatred finally comes out. Too bad, agreed with the others, reputation just went down the shitter.

To which I replied,

People are so funny and thin-skinned. Does anyone honestly think I have anything against Canada outside of this hockey game?

Stephen, your comment is probably the most absurd. Tell me, what is "typical American hatred?" All I said was "Fuck Canada" because they won a hockey game. That was the extent of my "critique." But here you come talking about "typical American hatred." What I said was boorish, but clearly you have real issues with "typical" Americans that you feel necessary to lump together into a negative stereotype characterized by a hateful nature. If I were an American version of you, I'd say you're engaging in typical British snobbery. But because I'm not like you, I don't believe in such things and so I'm not going to say that.

Get over yourselves. All of you.

Then came,

Well congratulations, you just lost a fan. How about thinking about the bile you spew before you commit it to your blog? Take a moment to consider how you come across to people who are not privy to your personal thoughts if you wish to escape the judgement you so vehemently fight. Just a thought.

And,

You never just said "Fuck Canada", if you did I could see you were just slating harmlessly like millions do over other sports. But you took it a step further with the actual content of the blog post. Humour and sarcasm didn't exactly come across in your words.

I can’t believe this is necessary, but it looks like some of you need a lesson in sarcasm/satire/humor.

First off, I will admit that it can be difficult to discern a person’s tone when reading his written words. However, when reading this site (or any other), there are certain cues one should look out for. Let’s start with the (original) title, “Fuck Canada.” Given what the average reader of this site knows about Canada, said reader ought to be struck by the strangeness of such a remark. After all, Canada is a very peaceful country that has a wealth of natural beauty. Relatively speaking, as a nation, Canada has a rather uncheckered past. Prima facie, there seems to be nothing about Canada that would justify such an assertion. So at this point the reader ought to be thinking, “What an odd and perhaps vulgar thing to say” before reading on to see the writer’s justification for his statement.

At which point the reader would read,

Well, those filthy Canadians escaped with a squeaker over the U.S. today in the gold medal hockey game.

“Aha,” the reader should say to himself. “I see that this is about sports, and therefore likely not a serious commentary because sports—though fun—are relatively trivial. I also gather that this is being written by a disenchanted US hockey fan who is frustrated with the outcome of the game.”

Also, some of you have intimated that the phrase “filthy Canadians” is wildly offensive. Really? I mean, I could see if I had said “filthy Mexicans” or “filthy Arabs,” why that would be bad because those expressions have indeed been used by disgusting racists. But “filthy Canadians”? I do not know where you live, dear reader, but let me tell you something about Canada coming from someone who lives in Boston. While we here in the Northeast fully recognize Canadian sovereignty, the fact is, we tend to view Canadians as our international cousins. For my money, when someone says, “I’m from Canada,” to us in the Northeast, it’s not all that different from someone saying, “I’m from Vermont.” It’s not like there’s a huge cultural or ideological gap between the Northeastern United States and Canada. So really, in essence, the phrase, “filthy Canadians” carries the exact same connotation as “filthy Vermonters.” It’s ridiculous terminology, and should automatically convey to any quasi-astute reader that this remark is not at all serious and is meant in jest.

Lastly, the coup de grâce of my post:

That’s right, several people read my words about “filthy Canadians” followed by a clip of Peter Griffin saying, “Canada sucks,” and subsequently reacted as if this were the biggest international insult since the XYZ Affair.

People need to lighten up. I find it telling that none of the complainers are from Canada. They’re from the UK and the non-northeastern United States. And they’re being a bunch of drama queens. But I assure you, Canada will survive with or without these finicky protestations.

- Max